Q: I feel so helpless, like I'm stuck and there's nothing I can do to make my life any better. It's like I'm spending so much time taking care of my daughter, my entire life revolves around that. I no longer get to do the things I enjoy like having lunch with my friends or reading a good book. I hope I don't sound selfish, but do you have any ideas for me?
-Susan W.

A: You are not being selfish, Susan. To stay healthy you MUST make time to do something you enjoy every day. Spending just 15 minutes in a comfortable chair with your eyes closed listening to an audio book will brighten your day. I know it seems impossible sometimes, but you must get away from the every-day drudgery and see that the whole world doesn't revolve around your daughter.

Ask friends or family to sit with your daughter for a couple hours so you can have lunch with your close friends at a nearby restaurant. Or if that doesn't work, invite the friends in. And don't think you have to go to a lot of trouble. They're your friends, remember? Make it a pot-luck or order in Chinese and it'll be as good as going out. Just make sure you have time to talk and be together.

Look around for a service that offers respite care at an affordable price. This service offers short-term, live-in care for youngsters with disabilities. Sometime this can give you a weekend or even a week away from the tremendous pressure of being a full-time caregiver. It's not available everywhere, but check with your local hospital or community services office to see if there's one near you.

Be creative—come up with other novel ways to do things for yourself that make you feel that all-important sense of enjoyment. It doesn't have to be the same thing you've done before, just something that makes you happy for a few minutes or a few hours, and brings you back to home and family with a fresh outlook on your life. You'll be glad you did it-and so will your daughter, because you'll be more joyful and fun.
-Marilyn Colter

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